Things to Think About When Your Partner Triggers You

Here are five things that you can contemplate when your relationship is triggering you. Take a few deep breaths, pick one from the list, and spend a couple of minutes with your pick. If you've done it, let me know this, do you feel slightly less crazy now?

1) My partner is crazy. He/she is actually crazy. At least some of the time. Why should I expect him or her to be acting reasonably when I've now admitted that they are crazy? Time to stop expecting him or her to conform to my idea of what's reasonable, and figure out how to make life easier for myself. Breathe it in and out: "My partner is crazy."

2) My partner is in his or her own world. I know that I carry a whole private universe around in my head, is it possible that everyone else does as well? He or she sees things differently from me, has different thoughts and feelings, in fact he or she is like a whole other private solar system rotating around a different sun. It can't be any other way, her or she is not you. Breathe it in and out: "My partner is in his or her own world."

3) It's not my job to make my partner happy. It's not my job to make my partner feel secure, loved, comforted, or special, either. And vice versa. It's not my job to do any of these things, but when this happens it's a pretty nice bonus, and when I'm not feeling pressured I might even want to do these things. Breathing in and out: "It's not my job to make my partner happy."